Open the door to a whole new world.

And walk right through it.
April 22nd 2013, Jack is two days away from being nineteen months old.

And he can walk.





He's been cruising around furniture since Christmas, walking behind toys since Valentines day, and taking a few independent steps here and there; but today, at 10:25 he walked across an entire room. We were at PT and he was showing off his mad skills to Rebecca. Holding a had a ball above his head and she just kept stepping backwards for him to take one more step to get it. One step, two step...a fifth, I am watching intently now, he's never taken THIS many steps at once. I don't know who is more excited at this point, giggles are bubbling out of him with each motion. He reaches the wall and is rewarded with the ball he has been chasing. Seconds have passed and just as he goes to sit down to play with his new ball I swoop in, showing off that I too can cross that room pretty damn fast.

I pick him up, squeeze that boy within an inch of his life and sit him back down to continue his work. As I walk back to my chair in the corner of the room I feel ten feet tall. I am so proud of this boy. At every step along the way these past nineteen months he has blown my expectations out of the water. He can do hard things. He is pushing himself. He will achieve.

. . .and I will be there, watching and encouraging him as a most interested spectator in his one wild life.

This will wet your appetite:

Been missing yourself some Mead action, can't sleep at night due to lack of Mead knowledge? I know, I know. I've been a bad family journalist.

As punishment (for everyone involved) I will share photos of me trying my wedding dress back on last month on Chad and I's SIXTEEN year anniversary! It just so happened that I caught a stomach bug and was positively ill for two days straight. I rallied for 30 min to try my dress on, not enough to fix my ponytail that was trying to turn itself into a low side ponytail but only managed to get to the side. You are welcome!! 

I'll be back positing on the Mead goings-on with things that are not to be forgotten shortly. . .

I gotta learn about being a mom!

This line is getting a lot of play these days. . . 

 with best friends

look at how she holds her tiny chipped polish little fingers

If Lily wants to get in on what you're doing; whatever it may be. . .yoga, cutting up lettuce, washing dishes, loading a dishwasher, sweeping, caring for Jackie, applying makeup--especially if it's lipstick, wearing high heel shoes. . .what have you. Lily wants to be doing it too and she uses her powers of 'how could I argue with that logic' to get her way. That and she's just about the most freaking adorable thing on this planet.

Lily: "mom! I gotta learn how to be a mom!"

I hear it probably ten times per day at least; it's futile to resist her impeccable logic. Yesterday she also told me that for her birthday (six months from now) that she wants some heel heel shoes. After a few back and forths I understood that she wants high heel shoes: send help!

Mountains make me feel weathly

One of my aunts (VV!) lives in Utah and her house backs up to a mountain. This made a HUGE impression on me and I always wanted a similar landscape when I grew up. Whenever we visited we would always go hike the mountain and I absolutely loved it!

Grew up I did and live on a mountain I did! Yay! I go out on these trails at least four times a week and run/walk and solve the worlds (or at least mine) problems with girlfriends. Occasionally armed with my pepper spray I go it alone and thanks to the endorphins and music I come home thinking I can just about do anything. This part of my life brings me so much joy and makes me feel richly blessed.

Bounce

I'm waxing serious today, my apologies.

We've had two hospital adventures this past month and the day after the first one I was chatting with Eda. She called to see how I was recovering from the prior two days events. I was in the car just finished with a yoga class and on my way to Trader Joes, she commented to me that I sure do bounce back from craziness quickly.

I thought about it and thought YES! --I'm sure trying. I probably didn't always used to but once you have been through ALL of the insane medical insanity we've been through (I thought about doing a funny list here but then thought---that'd take forever to write!) your perspective kinda changes. That and I've seen WAY WAY worse. I've seen babies that will never leave the hospital, babies leave their family, kids and families endure so much adversity that your heart could break.

The thing of it is, we are in for it. This life is for growth and learning--so you better believe you will be challenged to your limits, and you're never done. Death is beginning to sound not so bad, eh? I kid, I kid.

Crappy, difficult things are bound to happen to everyone. Learning to be able to pick that ball up and run with it is something I aspire to do and I love seeing it in others. People that are sucking the marrow out of this life. Why the hell not! Life's pretty awesome! Fall down; get back up and run to something better.

Leave yesterdays bad day there, don't bring it into the totally awesome day that's staring you in the face today.

This photo showcases a vintage dress given to me by the lovely Eda...plans for it...

Dear babies

A note on regrets:

Five weeks ago Jack had a little surgery to repair his herniated incision from his open heart surgery. He was having another procedure done already (circumcision--if you must know) and the doctor suggested doing it since he'd already be under anesthesia. The hernia wasn't bothering anything and would only bulged out when Jack cried or used his abdominal muscles. It was the size of maybe a large marble. But--since he was already going under we thought, "why not"

Well. . .five weeks later this decision has proven to be a giant mistake and continues to be a thorn in our sides. The incision has been infected twice already, causing a hospital stay, is now larger than a golf ball and just tonight I noticed that it appears to be getting infected AGAIN.

Sh**!

Here's the thing babies: if I could go back and not do it--I absolutely freaking would! But, I can't so what will I do with that? . . .learn from it. Be more cautious in the future? Consider the potential upside and weigh that against any possible downside? Yes; both of those things. But I won't beat myself up over it (okay--a tiny bit).

People often say that they have no regrets. This is ridiculous. I have regret. I don't let it interfere with moving forward though. Use it, learn from it but don't let it hold you hostage. Forgive yourself. You did what you thought was right at the time. Move forward--wiser for the wear. Maya Angelou famously wrote that she "wouldn't take nothing from my journey"

AMEN Maya! This is so true--looking back I can see how some of my bad choices or just the breaks of life caused me to grow substantially and that without them I wouldn't be where I currently am.

No? --even when you were doing it you knew it was stupid? Forgive yourself. AND STOP DOING STUPID CRAP. Remember, if someone ever offers you Meth; your mother painstakingly cut up your food so you wouldn't choke. Remember that.

PAUSE (!!!!!!)

Lily doing some posing during my pantry organizing binge (in a construction paper skirt that girlfriend made herself). Awe-ya.

A hilarious thing that Rubby does every.single.time she watches a movie. Here's the rundown:
1) mom puts dvd into dvd player
2) previews play and homescreen pops up
3) Lily shouts out "MOM, PAUSE please!!!!!

***even the boys won't correct her because she is too darling***