A sign.

Want some milk? Want Jack to ask for it for you? That is like, totally something he would do for you.

We've been working with Jackie on his signs since last spring and it is like seriously the freaking cutest thing on the planet (and yes, I'm taking puppies and newborn stretches into account). Jack's been signing milk for along time now; sometime around his first birthday that he started really getting it down. His other list of sign skills include the following: bye-bye, more, all done, ball, star, chicken, and eat.

Another trick that is also cuter than puppies is pointer. You know the song, 'Where is pointer where is pointer here I am here I am'

Well, Jack loves this silly song and I'm a sucker for my boy so I've been singing it to him. When I sing it to him now though, he follows along and does the actions! But he's super clever, if I ask him where is pointer in the tone of the song he brings out his pointer finger and bends it like the song but if I just nonchalantly say 'where is pointer' then he'll bring his chubby index finger forward and show you pointer!! Jack has transitioned this skill into watching the 'You've got cookie so share it maybe' song over and over again. Once the song ends he takes pointer, points it at the computer screen and gives an encouraging grunt.

Want to know where Jack's nose is? Just ask him, he'll tots show you that one too.

Dear babies, your mother is a person too.

Dear babies,

You're never going to believe this but. . .I am a person and I have feelings. When you step on my foot and walk away like it never happened--it hurts. You still don't remember to tell me you're sorry yet, so I remind you (sometimes gently, other-times--more of an irritated/pissed off/I'm super mad at you way). I hope by the time I'm done raising you that you realize and can appreciate that yes, my mother is a human being. Maybe that'll be the mark for whether I've done a decent job raising you?

I love being your mother but that isn't the sum total of who or what I am. I have interests and things that I do just for me. And that's okay!

Owie--you asked me tonight what it is I do while you're at school (partially, I'm sure because you're staying home sick from school tomorrow and want a sneak peak into what thrilling things lay ahead).  The answer. . .whatever I damn well please, thank you very much!

Well, not really. I do (do) a lot of cleaning, cooking, shopping, children pertaining phone calls, doctor and therapy visits for Jackie, etc etc etc. But, pretty much every day I do things I enjoy (remember what I said before about me being human?), things like: hot yoga, regular yoga poolside while the waterfall is going, hiking the trails behind our house, tennis, paddle boarding on the river or lake, lunch with friends, walks with friends, solo clothing shopping trips for moi, time spent reading books not about parenting or special needs, thumbing through design magazines and blogs, wasting time on the internet, listening to somewhat inappropriate music, throw in some time spent in prayer/meditation/study, oh and don't forget naps--I adore napping.

Raising the four of you children is the best thing I've ever done. I love it; you bring me joy daily. I love each of you so much that it hurts, sometimes. I love seeing you grow and change. I also love seeing the parts that haven't changed; those characteristics and personality traits that were yours from infancy. . It really is quite brilliant being your mama.

I'm trying to give you my best everyday; I reserve some of that for me too though and that's a good thing.

So, if you step on my foot or accidentally kick me while you step over my leg--a simple "oops, sorry" goes along way my babies. Always remember--mommy loves you--

More fun at PCH!

Last week Jackie went in for two small surgeries (one to a very private area and the other for his heart surgery incision--it was herniated)

 He was all smiles before I told him what we were going to do there.

While I was waiting for them to take Jackie back I received this text from daddy who was getting Lily pad off to a friends house before heading over. Yes, those are the ballet slippers that she was wearing last year when she got lost (the time Owen and his friend took her hiking then told her to go home. . .).

 

Poor Jackie tried to jump once I told him what was about to transpire.

No matter how many times I've been through the recovery process with three outta four of my children (Owie- five times, Luke-three times, and now Jackie-two times) IT NEVER GETS EASIER!! I absolutely hate seeing them like this; sleepy, lifeless and then the anesthesia grumpies--fughettdiaboutet.

Even though, this is pretty cute/heartbreaking--as I was walking to the recovery room talking with the anesthesiologist about the procedure (funny story here at the end), we approached Jack's bedside (we were speaking somewhat quietly but not a whisper), the anesthesiologist was saying that Jack would be waking up sometime in the next 30 to 45 minutes and that it's best to just let him rest and sleep a wee bit so he's not so grumpy. I said okay, sounds good thank you, etc. . . and Jack's eyes shot open super big at the sound of my voice and look quickly around the room for me, I gave him a smile then he immediately drifted off back to sleep. The doctor and nurses giggled saying, "he heard your voice and wanted to see his mama."

This is the part that makes me sad--after hearing my voice and drifting back off he kept opening his eyes to make sure I was still there. He'd look over at me and upon seeing me close his eyes and drift back off to sleep, but every few minutes he'd need that reassurance and look for me again. Broke my heart that he was worrying "where's my mama?" So I pressed my cheek right up against his so that he'd have the constant feeling of ---my mama's right next to me---

With this, he slept a solid forty more minutes and didn't open his eyes once. I--looked ridiculous but this is my baby people! What won't I do for him!!

We got home after Jack's knife fight with two surgeons and he was wiped. Grumpy, sore, tired and hungry; we watched the wiggles on the couch, ate a bagel and took a nice long nap.

Curious about the funny convo with the anesthesiologist? Wait no more. . .

"So, um, this was kind of a strange procedure."

"Really?, What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm guessing that you or your husband must be well connected or something."

"Huh"  <---- data-blogger-escaped-eh="" data-blogger-escaped-eloquent="" data-blogger-escaped-p="">
"It's just not every day that a heart surgeon scrubs in and assists with a circumcision in a level one operating room. This sort of procedure usually is an outpatient sorta thing."

***what follows is seriously my response and I seriously love myself a little bit more for it***

"We take our penises very seriously in our family."

. . .he almost choked he was laughing so hard.

Owies village

Last summer while on vacation Owie picked up a shirt he just loved at H & M.

He wore it practically the entire vacation and it was his go to shirt when we got home. Here is Owen on the last day of summer this year with his life's ambition written out next to him ( to be a pie?). His shirt was pretty simple; I AM AWESOME...

I realized a few weeks ago that he had never worn it to school! He comes home and quite often will change into it before going to play with his pals but never to school. It's kind of sad seeing your kids grow up; starting to be aware of social situations and see their confidence dwindle, even just a little bit. Kids around his age start trying to fit in a bit more and not makes waves; above everything--don't make yourself a target.

Oh, middle school...I am SO not ready!

Owen's little group of friends is so fun and that makes me happy. Garron, Dylan, Cole, Eli, Jake, Sam, Tommy--they're such good boys. His little village. I am happy that he has these boys-an island of confidence in the sea of adolescence.

Hurry!! Quick somebody call my husband. . .

It's the middle of the day on a Monday and I'm wearing lipstick. It's a miracle.

 

Now, if I could just perfect my posing skills

Mr. Mead was trying to compliment me yesterday about how sessy I was looking at the moment. It went something like this, " Waimy, you're lookin good!!! Those high heel shoes, the panty hose, tight sweater (etc, etc, etc) and you even have LIPSTICK too!! (hopefully the all caps relay the emphasis he put on this point)."

Something about the way he said it made me a wee defensive for a sec; I mean, are you sayin that I rarely look this together???!!!  A few minutes later there was a meeting of the minds; "waim, you're beautiful but ya' know. . .Sunday's are usually your high water mark though."

Ha!!!

. . .Sunday's, you better watch out for Mondays!
(I'm probably going to be in trouble now (tee he he))

P.S.  A few favorite things of the day:: Phillip Phillips song Home---it's up loud and on repeat (go ahead and live with me--I will make you hate a song by listening to it one bazillion times), Flowerbomb perfume from Sephora--perfection, my UGG slippers--obviously and Pawn Shops!!!---along with the paddleboard Mr. Mead gave me for my birthday I scored a Michael Kors watch I've been crushing on but couldn't pull the trigger on due to it's $300 price tag. Pawn Shop price?---$65 bucks, its possibly stolen, but it needed a good home, so I decided to put it out of it's misery. ~~~love~~~

Dear babies;

Dear babies is a new thing I'm doing!!! It's a weekly (hopefully) letter where I opine about life, things I've learned and any other random tidbit I'm wanting to pass along to Owie, Luker, Rubby and Jackie pad.

Eda and I conquering Camelback Mountain last week

Dear babies,

Your dad and I love to take walks together, when we were at Utah State we lived in married student housing that was right next to a cemetery. Little do you guys know but your dad and I are night owls, WE COME ALIVE AT NIGHT (immediately after we put y'all in bed at 7:30----it's party time). Well, quite often around one or two am we'd take long walks around that cemetery and the Utah State campus. We no longer walk around a cemetery but we still love to be out late at night together walking around. We chat about everything and nothing but our walk yesterday got me thinking. . .

We were talking about faith and times in our life where we felt embarrassed by our lack of faith in Heavenly Father. The first one was back in Chad's first year of law school. He had applied for law review; painstakingly written his paper (like a solid month---written), gotten high grades, praying and fasting our little hearts out and we were waiting and waiting and WAITING to hear if he'd made it.

News trickled in for one friend, then another, they were in. Two more days passed, no news for us. Hours into the third day of waiting and hope was lost. We felt that we had done our part, done everything within our power, drawn upon the powers of the Lord to no avail. Then, within the hour of losing faith we got word----Chad was in. He had made it. We knew that being on law review would be a pivotal part in his career and it happened.

Immediately upon getting word we both felt ashamed. Ashamed that we had lost faith in our Heavenly father to bless us with our righteous desire.

The next thing that we reminisced about though was a little different than this situation.

Having faith in Heavenly Father to bless you with the desires of your heart is one thing but what about having faith when Heavenly Father has a different plan for you than what your heart desires? Lemme tell you what, that's a hard pill to swallow!

When we moved from our beloved Texas to Arizona we were so sad!!! We loved our lives there, I was expecting Jackie pad and we thought we had it all. Soon after we moved to Arizona we found out Jackie had down syndrome and needed to have heart surgery. A cloud of sadness encompassed us. . . we felt alone. Many tears were shed, our burdens and a heaviness of heart zapped the joy from our days. Those days turned into weeks as time passed. Jackie came and showed us just how wrong we were, about all of it.

The desert that once appeared barren and desolate now radiated in every direction. The thing is; whether it be the desert, Jackie's condition or whatever it may be: those things didn't change. What changed was our ability to see what was always there. Let go of what you desire and open yourself to a bigger dream God may have for you. A better one.

Have faith that your Father in Heaven loves you, knows you and has big big big wonderful things in store for you. . .even if at first it doesn't appear that way.

****
One more thought for today before I go, a quick word on tattoos dear babies. There's the whole argument --your body is a temple so don't defile it, blah blah blah. While I would also agree with this belief I have one more to add. The thing is; we change, we get older and our interests change. When asked by friends about this subject I always say, "for me, I don't feel that strongly about anything that I want to wear it for the next eighty four years (yes, I'm planning on living for A LONG TIME), I'm too fickle."And, dear babies, you are too. If you ever find yourself in a tattoo parlor about to pull the trigger on a: Chinese symbol, Tweety bird, anything on the small of your back remember this---->

When Owie was four he freaking loved loved loved, thought he'd never get over it loved, played and wanted everything in the world to be. . .Dora the Explorer.

You've cat to be kitten me right meow.

Always remember. . .mama loves you.

Somebody should probably stop this.

****if you can assist in stopping her from growing up, please contact me****

Notice the pants. Isn't she freaking darling?!?  Lily is about six months old here. I bought this outfit when I was pregnant and sooooo excited about having my girl. It was one of my favorite outfits of hers and I loved putting her in it. When the time came to get rid of it, I just couldn't do it. I thought I'd hang onto it and she could dress her dolls up in it one day.

That or squeeze herself into it. . .

I guess she's entered my world of squeezing into clothing that I shouldn't be wearing. ;)