I had been dreading this day since May 15th 2011.

Then it came and I loved it.

***Antelope Canyon, at the Heart***

When I first found out that Jack had down syndrome one of my (many) irrational fears was that strangers would recognized that Jack had Down Syndrome and think they knew everything about my son. I thought they would look at him with pity. Worse than that though; I thought they would think that Down Syndrome is the most important thing about my Jackie.

I'm sure that before today strangers looked at Jack and recognized that he had Down Syndrome, but today a woman felt confident enough that he did to talk to me about it. She was a darling grandma. I was sitting in a chair (okay it was a pedicure chair), Jack was in his carseat on the ground playing around with a toy. She came over, sat down on the ground and was cooing and talking with Jack. After about a minute she looked up at me and told me all about another little boy that she knew and loved with Down Syndrome.

She came alive chatting about her Jason. She told stories about how he wanted chum ubba a tweee (climb up a tree).  She was so enamored with Jack that I realized IT (someone recognizing he has Down Syndrome) had happened and I DIDN'T even notice!

***the first time we lost Jack since he's started crawling***

Things almost always are never as bad as you think they will be. A stranger saw Jack and knew one thing about him. Jack's charm drew her in and she learned another thing about him; that he loves saying  shouting da da dad dadadad while shaking his fists at the heavens. We lovingly call him the preacher. He usually gets going in the high chair, shaking and pounding his fists calling all to repentance.

Conversely, the good in life is always sweeter and better than you imagine. Jack is growing up; our days are filled with these joys. . . watching him first learn to crawl, going into his crib to get him up from his nap to find him sitting up all by himself for the first time, buying his first size three diapers, having a literal wrestling match while nursing him because HE CANNOT SIT STILL for even a minute, and the best: waving bye bye to him to see him take his hands and slowly open and close them over and over again then turn to you and wave bye bye while smiling ear to ear.

This is living.