Friday, June 14, 2013

Good hair is hard to come by.

In no particular order. . .a hair journey through the years:
  • fifteen tiny knots on the head trend
  • Katie Holmes hair of 2007- dumpy version
  • Cowlick dead center of hair with curls and hot pink hair accessory
  • Some of these I cannot comprehend
  • Tried for years to be blonde
  • Nati-curl 
  • Plastic hair cap under straw hat, sexy!

Now that you are armed with A LOT of blackmail I'll end it with some good ole fashion Sunday hair otherwise known as the pinnacle.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Possibly the worst apology in history.

A few weeks ago Luke received the greatest worst apology ever.

Owen, Luke and one of Owen's friends were all out swimming in the pool. *Screech* Mothers know many screeches, which family members they arise from, and what offenses cause them. This screech was from illegal use of force.

It's dangerous to use excessive force against Luke. You hurt me?! As Luke sees it, he's authorized to inflict serious harm on you if you violate section you lay a hand on me and you'll regret it, subchapter 2. Hate to do it but thems the rules and we don't make up the rules.

Owen and his friend, SmEli (names have been changed to protect the guilty), come racing to the door shouting that Luke had attacked them. (Rookie mistake. The guilty usually are the ones yelling the loudest.) I begrudgingly referee the proceedings. Sometimes I mediate, usually I don't, but here I had a sneaking suspicion that poor Luke was simply following section 29.2-18 of the above referenced law.

Owen and SmEli made the same argument: I was doing nothing and then Luke just attacked SmEli.

I gave them my best Gary Coleman-look--what you talkin about Willis?--to best solicit the truth when SmEli's conscience attacked . . .  but only a little.

SmEli: Luke had the noodle and I wanted the noodle so I asked him to give me the noodle and he said no, so I strangled him.

I laughed at this and said, HA! You took on the wrong kid! I looked at his back all scratched up from Luke and told him, Luke isn't exactly the turn the other cheek kind of kid; now apologize.

SmEli: Luke, if I strangled you, and if that bothered you, then I'm sorry.


Sunday, June 9, 2013

People are crazy, and good all at the same time.

Months ago Jack was hospitalized for an incision infection -- curse you stupid surgery repair and repeated infections! We are all better now, but we've learned to leave WELL ENOUGH ALONE. So, Jack was sitting in his crib in the hospital playing with his Jack-in-the-box. He had just learned to wind it to make it jump. He was doing his thing while I was speaking to his nurse. He looked over at us and asked for some milk and to read a book using his adorable baby sign language.

His well-intentioned nurse was absolutely dazzled with Jackie and turned to me and said--these are her words exactly--"he is the smartest little retard I have ever seen." She's from India, so there was a language barrier.

I had so many options, I could:
 1. Cry like a baby;
 2. Give her the stink eye;
 3. Raise my fists to the sky in agony; or
4. Smile and laugh a little at the insanity of it all? Yes, yes he is.

For the most part, people are good and aren't trying to be INCREDIBLY insulting. Granted, there are jerks out there and I will read the RIOT Act to any one who messes with my babies! But, usually, people are kind and considerate.  Occasionally, some are misguided but overall most are good. Everyone screws up on big and small things. But I try to look at their intentions. A fool takes offense when none is intended. Even if people are misguided, generally they are trying to be good and kind. If so, cut 'em some slack. Maybe smile and nod or kindly educate them, but then, let it go. Lighten up. After all the only thing we can control is how we allow things to affect us.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Happy Memorial Day!

For Memorial Day we did our patriotic duty to have as much fun as possible. We also impulsively purchased a US flag at Costco the weekend prior so that we could finally be legit. Ten years of home ownership and the Mead's finally broke down and bought a flag. God bless America!

Against all reason and logic we thought it would be a good day to introduce Chad into my world of paddle boarding. One billion drunk, and somewhat slow, people looking for a good time? Yeah, lets go where they are. Chad used my board and I borrowed a friends, being 6 feet 5 inches tall is not without its own set of challenges. When you stand that much higher than the water it proves to be quite the challenge to actually doing the standing portion of the stand up paddle boarding.

Being the stud Mr. Mead is he did some slight modifications to the sport and we were our way. Chad enjoyed the general beauty the river provides; even if it was littered with the dregs of society (and their aluminum cans).

Three hours later and we're still in love!

The kids and I went to a Memorial Day party where my friends nudged me to cut Jack's hair for the first time. Jack was sporting the world's tiniest Donald Trump comb over. His hair was short and long and wavy--all at the same time. Jack was quite sad to see it go.

He would only be happy if I agreed to be covered by his precious hair too.

Here's the result! Jack spent the entire party hanging with mom and her friends, looking on at big brothers and sister swimming, and emptying Shelly's purse (over and over again). Good times! USA! USA! USA!