That's the kind of gal I am. I was driving home with the kids today from Albertsons picking up some missing ingredients from our lettuce wraps (which were gross, btw-two hours wasted) and inspiration hit.
While I am far from perfect, I like who I am. As a mom it's easy to get down on yourself. To look at all the ways that you're messing up and things you should have done better. Those quiet hours in the evening where you reflect on all the different ways you stunk at your job today. How you were SO close to an A+ mothering day and in the final hour you lost it and then put them to bed with no story.
But those times are not what this is about. This is about the awesome parts. The times like today where we have the music pumping, windows down and the bag of goldfish that Luke and Lily talked me into flying along side the car as we drive. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses; things that come naturally to you. Maybe yours is that you're super organized and you never run out of t.p. or that you have mad skills at keeping your children safe and they've never had a single stitch <-----not my specialty.
My specialty is fun.
Want to turn up the music once we hit our street and open the sunroof and dance? I've got the perfect song for that. Need me to listen to the list of supplies you need for a project; fine, but I'll only listen if you dance while telling me what's on your list. Nice moves! K, let's go. Have a hankering for something sweet? I'll get the butter, you grab the chocolate chips and brown sugar.
My hope here in writing this is that someday when my children are grown, maybe they'll come across this and see the most important part; I tried my best.
That I lived this life I was given with passion and joy. Sure, I could friggin blow my top with the best of them but we are LIVING, people! See that mountain over there? Let's see how quick we can get up it. Why? Why the he** not is a better question.
As a kid you falsely think everything is about you. A huge moment of clarity for me was realizing that some disappointments you have in other people really have nothing to do with you. Everyone has their different stuff that they are working through. Different weaknesses. You'll swear up and down that you'll never do that; rest assured you'll do other stuff that will be equally heartbreaking to your children.
Plan on that; but also plan to be surprised. Surprised at how much patience you have grown in the last ten years (or whatever it is that you are lacking in). Take stock of the good stuff that you're doing. Focus on that every once in awhile. Think of what your strengths are, where you find fulfillment and joy. Do those things more often. Make your strong things even stronger. Your weaknesses probably will never be your strengths. Crush it with the strengths.
Liar Liar Pants On Fire.
ReplyDeletethe lettuce wraps were DELISH