Why? Well as if it needs any explanation (it is chocolate cake after all). But I will indulge you, there are a variety of reasons. 1. I have little to no self control. 2. I'm pregnant. 3. It was Owen's ninth birthday yesterday and it looked lonely. 4. The cardiologist reported ( a report that he said was subject to change at any point, depending upon my proceeding ultra sounds of the heart (don't cha just love doctors :))) the our sons heart defect (tetralogy of Fallot) looked like he wouldn't need to have surgery immediately. Depending upon a variety of factors once this guy comes out we can wait anywhere from weeks to years to operate. Yeah! (my capacity for good news has grown DRAMATICALLY. . .can't you tell?). 5. I'm mourning the news of Monday (delivered from the happiest person on the planet (more on that later)), our son, has one extra chromosome.
Awhile back I copied this from a website and thought I would hang it in my boy's rooms. I ran across it this morning and tears sprang to my eyes. They've been doing that frequently, but I am getting better. I look at my three beautiful children and reflect upon our road to where we are. At the beginning of the trials with my boys I would never have imagined the sweetness that is my life with them now. I know it will be the same with our new son that God has seen fit to send to us. It is hard, I am sad for myself, sad for how much my life will change. For how hard it will be. But I know that I'm only looking at the negative side without giving light to the goodness that will inevitably come.With all of the trials we have been through I've been amazed at how with time things become easier. That as more is demanded of you, your capacity to do it grows. Eventually it is just normal and you don't even think of it. That as your strength grows it is no longer a burden.
I love the proverbs quote, it touches upon my mothers hopes for her children. That they will bear one another's burdens. That they will be each others biggest fans, allies, sources of strength, loyalty, caretaker at times, lifelong friend. Before I had multiple children I would never have understood how important this is to a parent. -To love one another-
Okay. You can do this. If anyone can do this, YOU can. You are strong and capable. Just like you said- the Lord saw fit to send you this child. That means that He KNOWS you and TRUSTS you to be able to care for this precious soul. He WILL strengthen you so that your capacity grows. And I know that your family will be blessed immeasurably through this experience. Your kids will learn lessons and grow in ways that they wouldn't be able to otherwise.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes- I firmly believe that Downs' bodies house some of the noblest, most valiant spirits. I suspect that in the end, you will feel it a great honor and privilege to be the mother of this baby boy.
I love you. We're praying for your family!
such a neat post. you are in our prayers, jamie! this baby is so lucky to be coming down to such a wonderful, energetic mom. i honestly can't think of a better woman for the task! wish you were in texas so that i could get to know this cute boy. please keep us posted.
ReplyDeleteoh man jamie. our whole family has been talking about this new turn of events in your life all week. you are in our thoughts and prayers! you are an incredible mother and for that reason i believe you are getting this new little boy who will need you deeply. no one is more qualified! i loved this post. i think of my own siblings and love we have for one another. life wouldn't be the same without them. you're kids will too feel this for each other especially in their adulthood. we love you!
ReplyDeleteJamie, our family has been thinking/talking about you guys constantly this week. We all keep saying that there isn't a better woman for such a special and amazing little boy! You are definitely perfect for this. We love you and are praying for your cute family! We can't wait to meet him sometime soon.
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