Dear babies,
Your dad and I love to take walks together, when we were at Utah State we lived in married student housing that was right next to a cemetery. Little do you guys know but your dad and I are night owls, WE COME ALIVE AT NIGHT (immediately after we put y'all in bed at 7:30----it's party time). Well, quite often around one or two am we'd take long walks around that cemetery and the Utah State campus. We no longer walk around a cemetery but we still love to be out late at night together walking around. We chat about everything and nothing but our walk yesterday got me thinking. . .
We were talking about faith and times in our life where we felt embarrassed by our lack of faith in Heavenly Father. The first one was back in Chad's first year of law school. He had applied for law review; painstakingly written his paper (like a solid month---written), gotten high grades, praying and fasting our little hearts out and we were waiting and waiting and WAITING to hear if he'd made it.
News trickled in for one friend, then another, they were in. Two more days passed, no news for us. Hours into the third day of waiting and hope was lost. We felt that we had done our part, done everything within our power, drawn upon the powers of the Lord to no avail. Then, within the hour of losing faith we got word----Chad was in. He had made it. We knew that being on law review would be a pivotal part in his career and it happened.
Immediately upon getting word we both felt ashamed. Ashamed that we had lost faith in our Heavenly father to bless us with our righteous desire.
The next thing that we reminisced about though was a little different than this situation.
Having faith in Heavenly Father to bless you with the desires of your heart is one thing but what about having faith when Heavenly Father has a different plan for you than what your heart desires? Lemme tell you what, that's a hard pill to swallow!
When we moved from our beloved Texas to Arizona we were so sad!!! We loved our lives there, I was expecting Jackie pad and we thought we had it all. Soon after we moved to Arizona we found out Jackie had down syndrome and needed to have heart surgery. A cloud of sadness encompassed us. . . we felt alone. Many tears were shed, our burdens and a heaviness of heart zapped the joy from our days. Those days turned into weeks as time passed. Jackie came and showed us just how wrong we were, about all of it.
The desert that once appeared barren and desolate now radiated in every direction. The thing is; whether it be the desert, Jackie's condition or whatever it may be: those things didn't change. What changed was our ability to see what was always there. Let go of what you desire and open yourself to a bigger dream God may have for you. A better one.
Have faith that your Father in Heaven loves you, knows you and has big big big wonderful things in store for you. . .even if at first it doesn't appear that way.
****
One more thought for today before I go, a quick word on tattoos dear babies. There's the whole argument --your body is a temple so don't defile it, blah blah blah. While I would also agree with this belief I have one more to add. The thing is; we change, we get older and our interests change. When asked by friends about this subject I always say, "for me, I don't feel that strongly about anything that I want to wear it for the next eighty four years (yes, I'm planning on living for A LONG TIME), I'm too fickle."And, dear babies, you are too. If you ever find yourself in a tattoo parlor about to pull the trigger on a: Chinese symbol, Tweety bird, anything on the small of your back remember this---->
When Owie was four he freaking loved loved loved, thought he'd never get over it loved, played and wanted everything in the world to be. . .Dora the Explorer.
You've cat to be kitten me right meow.
Always remember. . .mama loves you.
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