Enter Mr. Kitty.
Pathetically his name was seriously Mr. Kitty. People are idiots. Even Luke came up with better names than that, Granger for one. In an effort to save myself the new kitty ordeal (de-clawing, potty training, shots, etc) I went the adult route. Craigslist the the rescue.
I decided on the Russian Blue breed, as you all know how important it is to me to only surround myself with beautiful people and pets are no exception. Evidence to follow; remember this. Imagine my excitement when I found the perfect pet who met all four of my ideal pet requirements: attractive, de-clawed, potty trained, and free. I pushed out any suspicions as to why a pet owner would essentially give away a family member. I wasn't about to let that get in the way of an easy deal.
We met at the Central Market parking lot, she was of course a single, chubby white female (which I can say without repercussion because right now I too am a few Snickers bars past fitting into anything but sweatpants). She introduced me to Mr. Kitty and all his paraphernalia. A bowl that read Mr. Kitty (seriously) and about a large garbage bag sized worth of cat toys. Clue. A person that is this into cats probably wouldn't give away a cat, unless, there is something wrong with aforementioned cat.
I. will. not. be. deterred!
When asked why Misses Kitty was giving away Mr. Kitty she told me that she felt he needed to be with a family. That while she was away at work Mr. Kitty was oh so lonely and so he would, throw up, from. . .loneliness. I know what you're thinking, I am an idiot. But! He had four out of the four ideal pet requirements! Push reason and logic aside and just go with it!
Go with it, I did and Mr. Kitty and I went home and surprised the whole family. Look what mama brought home from the market. BAM! Who's your mama now.
Imagine my surprise when Mr. Kitty threw up. And not just any throw up but, like, diarrhea throw up, and like ten times a day. Shockingly the love of a family didn't cure him. Maybe it wasn't loneliness after all? A visit to the vet confirmed that in fact Mr. Kitty wasn't lonely, Mr. Kitty was in kidney failure. A call to the former Misses Kitty also confirmed that she was more or less aware of the situation. How much aware we'll never know because at one point she stopped answering my calls. I never.
Cat lovers, close your eyes, there is really only one solution when your cat goes into kidney failure. And lets just say, it isn't life on a farm, at least even though that's where your kids think he is, trust me, he isn't.
That's the thing about life. It is hard. Tough choices have to be made. We have to do things we don't want to, sometimes, especially so because those we love suffer if we run from a hard truth. Shots have to be given, medicine to be taken, slivers must be pulled out, cats are put to sleep and sometimes, if you're the Mead's your children have to be operated on.
We're no strangers to a hospital or an operating room for that. Owen list of surgeries include three pancreatecomy's, one g-tube placement, nissen fundaplication, and ear tubes. Luke's include a pancreatecomy, g-tube placement, and eye surgery. So far Lily's only include me pinning her down to pop a Molescum.
But, Jack, his, his day is to come. Fear creeps in from every side when I think about it, about my baby and how much I love him. How much I am afraid. How much is at stake. How alone Chad and I feel with worry.
Open heart surgery is no joke, not even for someone as irreverent as I. Hopefully one day, far from now it will be. This, this is one of those hard truths that I would like to be like Misses Kitty and run from. Make someone else deal with the dirty work. Let me carry on my merry way of just enjoying life and not doing hard things, scary things, painful things. Things that will make life better for those we love.
But. As they say, if life were easy then it wouldn't be so hard. This is the way of it, pain paves the way for healing. It isn't necessary for you to have experienced similar things to relate to how I feel. Life offers all kinds of opportunities for each of us to suffer in our own ways and then eventually grow and be better. Stronger than we are today, more prepared to face the struggles of tomorrow with wisdom hard earned.
Still, while you are in it, in those moments where you feel like you can't take it anymore, you have to remember why you do what you do. Even if those moments are simply; house is a mess, everyone's hungry and you don't have dinner ready, homework's not done, husband's late and stuck in traffic, baby's crying, stubbed your toe dammit! Breath. . .breath, take a moment and remember what it's all for, who it's for. One thing at a time, don't yell, stay calm.
We'll all have victory's together, whether it's open heart surgery or getting through a crazy day. We can do the right thing. One day at a time.
I needed to read this post...I have been having a hard time...and, I think of you often. You seem to be handling a FOURTH child, a child with special needs, with such grace and I am falling apart with my third.
ReplyDeleteI cried because I couldn't homeschool my big girls for two days because I couldn't put Scout down without her screaming...then, I read this post on my iPhone while nursing in the middle of the night... and, I needed it... especially the part about not yelling and staying calm.
Thanks for the wisdom!