Simba!

You should know that almost every time I pick Jack up from his crib I hold him above my head and say SIMBA, in Mufasa's voice to boot. Then I nuzzle him in my neck as I kiss his face. I'm being completely serious too. I want to go out to the mountain behind my house; climb up it, hold Jack out over the mountain for others to behold his greatness.

In a few months after his heart surgery I'm totally taking him on one of my hikes; you just watch. As I type these words about my son I feel my emotions bubbling over; I hold back the tears though. I do not need to cry over this for the zillionth time; cry over how grateful I am for this boy.

But, I will write how I love this boy. The love I feel is fierce, I wanted Jack for so long; and he is here with us now. I wonder if those years wanting him and the months spent agonizing over him are the the catalyst for this immense joy I am filled with now. Probably. Actually, I don't know why I say I wonder, I'm sure that they definitely are.

I'm continuing to learn the lessons Heavenly Father wants me to learn. Through suffering and trials there is joy. The inverse relationship between trials and joy is essential. Without the one the other would not be so great.

You would not experience the high of highs without the low of lows. We suffered, worried and fretted practically my whole pregnancy. But; but now, I tell you. . .I am practically dancing in the streets. I never thought I would be able to be this grateful for trials, for times of saddness but man!; they make way for a greater appreciation of the goodness this life has to give.

A complete stranger shopping at Albertsons told me I was possibly the happiest person she had ever encountered. I hadn't realized it but she and I had seen each other on a couple of the aisles at the supermarket and at the checkout stand she told me how much she appreciated my happiness. I tell you what, I'm feeling it! You cannot wipe this ridiculous smile off my freaking face.

This feeling I am blessed to have is special and I have gratitude that I know this truth; God loves me and has blessed me beyond my ability to measure.