Saturday, June 11, 2011

If you knew us fourteen years ago. . .I apologize.

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Chad and got married a little over fourteen years ago. I was barely nineteen, he was twenty two. We met, fell in love and were married all within five and half months. No I was not pregnant. Thankfully the one thing we were smart about was waiting to have children, Owen came along almost six years later.

It is amazing that things turned out as good as they did. I didn't worry about whether Chad would be a good father, provider or even if he flossed regularly. I was just absolutely freaking mad crazy in love with him. The kind where we would stay up kissing till the sun came up. Yes, eventually all of our roommates despised us. Even Takashiki who didn't speak any English got tired of us being literally joined at the hip. We were oblivious. We hardly went out to do anything. We could talk for ten hours and never be out of stimulating conversation.

I fell so hard for this man. I still remember the first time I saw him, it was after church. He was in the hallway with about six girls swooning around him. He was the cutest/hottest guy in our ward. . .by a LONG shot. But, I had my pride (at least back then I did!) I wanted to be pursued and I also had a steady boyfriend at a different college. I was immediately attracted to him but I kept my distance. After all, I refused to be just one of the many. While Chad flitted about dating different girls I dated other guys but I always had Chad in the back of my mind as someone of interest.

I even remember watching him. I could see into his apartment from my stairwell and randomly one day walking up I saw him. He was watching T.V. while standing up holding a gallon of milk on top of a stool. I watched him for about five minutes. He was hot. Masculine, the tall dark and handsome kind. A real man (who is probably going to kill me for writing all of this, but no matter). Some time after this my ability to be incredibly loud and acutely unaware paid to my advantage.

It was stake conference (a Mormon thing), I was running late so all my roommates went without me and were saving me a seat. The conference was being held in the gymnasium at The Golden Toaster church (i.e. wood floors). The room was filled all the way to the back, I literally busted in the back door. I opened the door, it flies all the way open and loudly hits the wall. I walk in, shoulders back and proceed to waltz all the way to the front of the room to join my roommates. My high heel shoes pounding the wood floors as I walk in with a hefty amount of confidence in my stride.

I don't look around the room as I walk in, I focus in on where my girls are and get there with no attention to what a ruckus I am making. For some reason I can remember this whole chain of events with perfect clarity. Unbeknownst to me, Chad turns and looks to see what kind of animal is on the lose and making all that noise. Then, according to Chad, he spots me. Thinks to himself!@"&% who is that girl, she is beautiful, then realizes it's Jamie. He then (again, according to Chad) thinks these exact words, "BOOM, I'm after her."

The meeting ended and everyone was making their way out of the gym. I could see Chad who was a couple of rows ahead of me and further down, making a very determined stride for what seemed like. . .me. I like him, tons. So, as prey that wanted to be caught, I slowed down and once outside bent over for a drink. Chad walked up right behind me and snapped this clip thingy that brought my dress together around my waist. We started chatting and he invited himself over for dinner (I didn't have any food so he ate plain noodles with ketchup). Then he stayed until four a.m. We were inseparable from go.

We had our first kiss five days later while watching Dumb and Dumber at his place. And about twenty billion all over the campus at Utah State over the next couple months. We were madly in love and blissfully unaware of anybody else. We could clear a room in no time flat. Looking back I cannot believe how we acted. Crazy, it was crazy and it felt amazing. We were married over spring break in the Salt Lake temple. Much to everyone's relief, I'm sure. But something curious happened. We were so hot we were on fire. We'd have the silliest fights that would turn into battles. I even remembering being at dinner with Chad's dad and having an argument RIGHT in front of him. Guns blazing, completely unabashed we were.

It is so embarrassing to think about it. We were both crazy in love with each other but fought like cats and dogs! In front of people! The horror. I remember a particular fight over dishes. I wanted Chad to do them. He refused. So. . .I didn't do them for a month. We were drinking out of measuring cups. We were at our battle stations and both stubborn enough to see it through. Scenes similar to this went off and on for the first three years of our marriage.

We couldn't figure it out. We both loved the other one so much. We were each others best friends but we could not for the life of us get along. People who knew us then would ALL testify to the truthfulness of that statement. Then, the most amazing thing happened. We stopped. Completely. Stopped thinking of only ourselves and how we had been wronged and how it was most assuredly the others fault. Stopped being selfish. Began thinking of the other person and not worrying about ourselves. We grew up. We were so close to losing the best thing either of us would probably ever have.

I'm so proud of us for that. We haven't looked back since. Each of us is very strong and we both respect each other for who they are. Accepting of the good with the bad. That transition has probably been the most rewarding part of my life. Those bad times paved way for a rock solid marriage. One that I would put up against anything. We had a motto when we were dating/engaged. We'd talk about what kind of marriage we wanted. We came up with kind of our own personal mission statement,

"You and me against the world."

Chad is my ally, best friend, companion, confidant, my home. I love him more fourteen years later than that fresh faced girl could imagine. My life has turned out differently than I imagined (do nineteen year old's ever imagine encountering life's trials?) But. I wouldn't have it any other way. We are going through our life together, getting better and better each year. And. . .we're more discreet but we're still crazy crazy in love with each other.

. . .it's awesome.

2 comments:

  1. Oh, I remember those days of finding you two lounging in Davis Hall. I remember Laura and I would always take the back way out so we didn't have to see you two sucking each others' faces off! So funny, congrats on fourteen years of PASSION!

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  2. I remember when Danny told me about meeting for you the first time and being so shocked with the experience and revelation. You two are incredible and can definitely take the world. I'd bet on it!

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